I swill down a last
Gulp of this black elixir.
Exhale: Life goes on.
Tentang Rindu Yang Bakal Terubat
Palu gendang bertali pantas
Alun degup berderap kencang
Hati girang meletus deras
Rindu hati bukan kepalang
Jasad jauh beribu batu
Namun pisah hanya sejenak
Dua hati terjalin satu
Takkan lerai walau terjarak
Terbang tinggi sayap garuda
Depa besi membelah awan
Kanda datang bertemu dinda
Kasih tulus mengubat rawan
On Burying a Father
He buried his father today, hot tears
Streaking down his cheeks as the smoky haze
Of incense and burnt flowers bathed him and
His fam’ly with aching, foreign sadness.
His father is gone, and he can’t fathom
Why his heart feels muted, mutilated.
On Being Alone
What does it mean to be here alone?
I see and hear the hubbub, the smiles
And laughter of people less lonely
Than I am. I marvel at their ease.
That calm sense of knowing that they are
Exactly where they need to be, with
The people they ought to and want to
Be with. I imagine what it must
Feel like, to be like them, to be them.
My envy eats me like a cancer.
On These Dark Clouds
These dark clouds gather
Above a tepid sky - I
Wait for a glimmer.
On Dark, Wild Dreams
Imagination
is Satanic? Milton knows,
dreams have dark, wild roots.
On Being Thrown Under the Bus
With a sly smile you
Threw me under the bus. Well
Fuck you very much!
On Being Adrift
Am I adrift, or
Am I merely waiting for
The right time to rise?
On My Crown of Envy
Gritted teeth grinding into rough cinders The ash of a thousand spurns in my mouth While you glory in the mud of smugness Your face cloying with its curdled pleading I hurl my hurts into this black abyss And now from this yawning, drowning distance I can feel the dark fire of thwarted hopes They scald with the flames of unholy wrath And this crown of envy melts my skull down With the heat of a thousand glaring suns That burns these sunken cheeks and boils away My angry tears - they wither with the light.
On a Happy Report
I am here to report
that I am happy
happy, happy beyond my wildest dreams
and that despite your
most fervent hopes
I did not fall into despair
I did not flail into disrepair
and despite your
most confident expectations
your leaving
was the best thing
that could have happened
your absence
was what truly saved me
I am here to report
that I need nothing from you
that my happiness no longer depends
on wondering if you are happy too.